Ah August! Although I was born and raised in the east, where fall was after Labor Day and the beginning of the new school year was signaled by the turning of the leaves; here in Arizona the temperatures are still in triple digits when the school year begins, and the only sign that a new school year is beginning is the incessant back to school ads that flood the airwaves.

If your baby is headed off to college for the first time then this season marks more than the usual turning of the calendar.  Aside from the cost and confusion of tuition, buying books, and arranging room and board, this rite of passage can be exciting and costly.  Many parents will experience amazement when they see how much stuff can fit into a dorm room, and how much electricity can be consumed by two new freshmen. Consider that when I entered Newman Hall in Blacksburg VA in the fall of 1968, the only plug in appliance in my room was a bedside lamp – even the essential alarm clock was a wind up Westclox!  One phone booth at the end of the hall served 120 men, and the highlight of every day was hanging out in the basement while the mail was sorted – our only communication with the outside world.

How times have changed!  In doing research for this article I was amazed to see how many online freshman checklists were available—there’s a list for everything: what clothes and amenities to pack; what furniture to bring; how to save on books; how to keep in touch with friends.  There’s even a planning calendar to help organize the brave new world of your college freshman!  However, what I did not find in all my searching was a list of the simple legal steps that are essential to keep your “baby” protected now that he is 18 and on his own in the eyes of the law.

Your son or daughter’s 18th birthday marks an important turning point in their life—and in yours.  You may still be fiscally responsible for them, but legally your child is now independent, and you will no longer legally be able to access their medical records or make emergency decisions for them without their permission. Although purchasing college health insurance may already be on the top of your “to do” list, a robust set of powers of attorney should not be overlooked. It’s time for many of the traditional “leaving the nest” conversations, but none is more important than the conversation about who will have the necessary legal authority to act on behalf of your young adult in an emergency.

In the (apparently) grand tradition of helpful college advice, I’ve created a checklist of my own to help parents of newly-minted 18 year olds ensure that their child will be legally protected while they’re off at college.  (You can read or print out the checklist for free by clicking here: Free Legal Checklist for New College Freshmen) The checklist includes such things as: make sure you are listed as an ICE (In Case of Emergency) contact in your child’s cell phone, and be sure you have a comprehensive health care power of attorney that includes a HIPAA release form so that you have access to medical information if something happens.  You may also want to consider purchasing a Docubank™ membership for your college student (the link shows you the complete services available for college bound children) after getting the proper documents prepared and signed.

At my office I provide counseling about health care, mental health, and financial powers of attorneys for college bound students, as well as a conversation about the importance of living wills—my door is always open.  Besides giving you peace of mind about being prepared and avoiding problems in the event of a medical emergency, this is also an excellent opportunity to introduce your child to the responsibilities and obligations of adulthood.

If you have a college bound student, please check out our Free Legal Checklist for New College Freshmen.  And if you know someone else with a college age student, please forward this on to them.

It’s an awesome world out there, send them out there prepared!

I know this title seems strange.

Almost everyone thinks they need an estate plan to insure the comfortable transition of their money.  With few exceptions, I feel that my clients are burdened with the prospect of making decisions about how to pass along their accumulated wealth.  It drives home the point of why the fear based selling I studiously avoid is so compelling.

You’ve worked a lifetime building up not only a fortress of wealth, but also building a legacy of values.  If you believe in the adage “give a man a fish you feed him for 1 day, but teach a man to fish and you’ve fed him for a lifetime,” I have an idea for you.

I read an article not too long ago about family harmony which also described the challenges of leaving a family business when only some of the beneficiaries are interested in the business and the others are not.  The need for life insurance to be sure that the child who runs the business can keep the business was one of the lessons of the article, but there are others.

The key is not to consider the amount of your accumulated wealth in terms of dollars, but in terms of value and legacy.  It won’t be much of a legacy if 10 years after your death, the children are still fighting over how to divide your most prized asset when the real fight might be about who loved whom more.

Once the discussion turns to your values and legacy, it is easier to understand the true importance of estate planning.

One of my favorite clients repeatedly drives home the point that he is not interested in controlling the lives of his family from the grave.  While he is completely at peace with his decisions, I struggle with the concept of letting grandchildren control their substantial inheritances at age 18.

Because he started with nothing and became a true giant, first in his industry and then in philanthropy, he believes everyone can.  Actually, I shouldn’t say he started with nothing.  I should say he started with no money.  He obviously had an abundance of something that drove him to success.  He built an industry leading company, he married a woman to whom he was mutually devoted for many years and had 3 children, each of whom he is proud of in their own unique way.  He pursued his passions at what for me was a dizzying pace and he is conflicted that more attention is given to the money he contributes than the non-monetary contributions to the fields of those he chooses to honor.

He doesn’t understand why I don’t share his abiding confidence in his grandchildren and he dismisses my dire predictions that most wealth is dissipated in less than 3 generations.  Then I realized that I’m the one who doesn’t understand.

You see, my prescription for the malady of inherited wealth being wasted is to lock it up in trust and dribble it out over the generations.  His plan is to be a venture capitalist – give the money to his descendants and let them learn how to use it.  Do good or dissipate it – either way, he believes the value of the lesson is more valuable than the security the money can provide and for him, estate planning really isn’t about the money.

We philosophically wrestle with the ease with which he is willing to let his children and grandchildren make their own mistakes.  With a Zen-like countenance, he repeats his mantra that “money is only a tool.”

I’m still learning, but I think he means that the lessons learned from making mistakes are more valuable than the money itself.  Judging from the mistakes he has shared with me, intellectually I know he is right; although deep in my legally trained gut it is still difficult to accept.

For my client and friend, estate planning is not about money.  He is blessed with an uncommon grasp of the meaning of a life well spent.  I hope I can help all my clients pass on their own unique ideas and values to their loved ones along with any financial inheritance.  But even more, I hope I can hold onto this valuable lesson. Because the truth is, I learn more from some of my clients than they learn from me.

I am frequently asked why I emphasize keeping estate plans updated.  There are actually two answers to this question; the standard answer, and a more practical reason.  Both answers are true, but one is much more personal.
The standard answer to why update your estate plan comes in five related parts:

1. Laws Change. Federal estate tax laws change with uncomfortable regularity, especially when a new president takes office. State laws affecting estates change much less frequently, but still often enough to need regular review.
2. Circumstances Change. You have more children or grandchildren, minors become adults, you have more or less wealth to distribute.  Life is constantly changing and your estate plan must change with it.
3. Financial Powers of Attorney Become Stale.  Somewhere between 6 months to 3 years is the standard shelf life of a financial power of attorney, and courts and banks are reluctant to accept them after that.  Even if nothing else has changed, your Power of Attorney should be signed regularly refreshed.
4. You May Move to a Different Jurisdiction. Different states have different laws. Moving from one state to another requires a review and update of your plan.
5. Attorneys Get Better.  Just like you, attorneys are constantly learning and improving.  The advice we gave you five years ago was good.  The advice we have for you now is better.

These are the standard reasons to update your estate plan.  But there’s a better practical reason that is quite different and much more personal — it has to do with family.  Few of us are lucky enough to have a family dynamic that is structurally and emotionally functional. I have met some couples of modest wealth, in their first marriage, with responsible adult children; but I have met more couples who are: in second marriages, with blended families, with one or more child with destructive habits or tendencies, or worried about a son or daughter in-law (the “outlaws”) whose motives conflict with our own values.  For these families, change will come swiftly and be overwhelming; frequent reviews and updates will ensure that your estate plan keeps up with these swift changes and continues to function as you intended — protecting you, your spouse, and all your children, even if it is sometimes from themselves.